I’ve been at college for 2 months now and my life is definitely busier! Most recently, future decisions have been flying around like they’re having a field day. My heart lost, my head confused, and my whole soul exhausted…
Architecture… This had been my voiced decision for the past 2 months but this week, I’ve come to realise that my heart’s not quite in it. I don’t know enough about it, and certainly don’t know what decisions to make at all – never mind if any! What is my heart in? I don’t quite know…
Anxiety has lurched all week whenever I think about my future and even now, I have to remind myself not to shed tears. I’m frustrated, and I’m chained to my own high expectations for my life. Add this to organising work experience, and balancing a-levels… You’ve got it – free falling!
Today, although I’ve been reading the bible every day, I took time to go into depth, pay attention, and “dig in.” As I read Hebrews chapter 2, I discovered something…
I haven’t been paying attention. I’ve taken my heart out of my saviour and into the worldly culture of human strength, control and expectation. By looking back, over my summer, when I spent every morning studying God’s word in depth, I can see a huge difference. Then, I was in touch with God, with His purpose for my life, and my heart was in my salvation.
The thing is, we need to stop planning, and deciding things, when we aren’t in the word. Reading the bible like a book is not paying attention – I’ve tried and failed at this for weeks! How can we be one with God if we do not feast? As Hebrews 2 says, if we aren’t paying attention, we will slip away: daily studies secure our whole selves – mind, body, and spirit.
It ensures that our eyes remain fixed on Jesus rather than upon our limited strength…
And so it’s time to start studying – daily! Even if it means a lack of sleep, or an assignment that must migrate to tomorrow. After all, God will take care of it. It’s not wasted time, but prayerful time to focus our lives, get in touch with the spirit, and start to discover what our faith is about. As our knowledge increases, our calling will become clearer – our gifts made known.
I Peter 1: 5-10 “Have faith, do good, study God’s word, have self-control and love. By working on these qualities, you will not be unproductive and you will not stumble, but you will be successful and live out God’s calling for your life.”
Forget decisions, and know that God’s plan is perfect. Delve into His word and start to listen to His heart – as you obey and discipline yourself in this practise, He’ll reveal more to you. Wait upon Him, be patient and trust the bible. As you come to know His word, you’ll have more clarity about God’s plan for your life -just as last summer, God revealed His plan for my gap year… For missions… And He changed my heart!
Will you join me this week in 7 days of bible study? Pay attention, “dig-in” and stop making decisions simply because you feel you have to!
Eleanor ♥
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