As an early teen, I really struggled with the concept that friendships don’t always last forever. Sad it may be, that two people are both striving for growth so much that they end up drifting apart…
First things first: neither one is to blame despite what we may think or feel at the time. I know now that trying to find an explanation or act worthy of guilt was a complete waste of my time. People change, situations evolve and unfortunately, some friendships serve only temporarily.
I spent a significant amount of time (at least a year) trying to hold onto a particular friendship back when I was 13/14 years old. With girls swapping, changing and developing, you can imagine just how fleeting school friendships would be. However when I and a long-term, close friend found that we were drifting apart and forming new friendships, my desire to hold on actually became quite a burden. By choosing to blame everything under the sun for why we no longer saw eye-to-eye, nor shared the same degree of trust, I prevented myself from seeing the good in the friendships I did have. I prevented myself from enjoying the little moments of friendship and conversation we still continued to share…
Eventually, I came to accept that people are allowed to change and that I had also changed. I came to accept that actually, neither of us had done anything wrong nor become anything other than better people. I came to accept that two girls can go from best friends to cherished acquaintances. Once I gracefully accepted this, I found such freedom in my friendships!
Ephesians 4:1-8 talks about how we are to be patient, bearing with one another in love and making every effort to live in peace. Note patience. Sometimes although we may try, mending a relationship means having the mind to step away for a little while. It means giving time to prayer and simply waiting to see how the friendship evolves once you’ve stopped trying to control or mend it yourself. For God has apportioned grace to all of us – we need not continue to carry such burdens in trying to hold onto a friendship. So start praying, having patience, and resting in the grace of God, knowing that you tried!
Wait it out, be graceful, and bring peace to the friendship.
Friends come and go – that’s life! You need not explain this, only accept it and move onward peacefully as two separate and cherished acquaintances. You wont be able to uphold every single friendship but nevertheless, the both of you are worthy, beautiful and thoughtful beings!